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A Present from Us to You

by The Carousels

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Intro (Spoken word): Ho ho ho! I mean: Yo yo yo! Tis the season to get in the Christmas spirit, and I’ll tell you what sort of spirit I get in this season! So if those first words made you think a rap is coming, you’re right! If you aren’t with that, get out! Otherwise cozy up to the fire with cookies and milk, ‘cause I’m about to drop truth bombs down your chimney! Verse 1: In the USA, religion is free, But you wouldn’t know that if you turned on the TV. Each December, take a look and you’ll see A crass mythology, that disses people like me! I’m sorry that I had to come and bitch, But some of us aren’t Christian and some of us aren’t rich! There are lots of views, among your lots of viewers, But you want to make us all think like perfect consumers! Chorus 1: I’m flipping the bird at the fourth estate, For telling us all how to celebrate! Christ is still in Christmas but money is its God. So no, Virgina, Santa is a fraud! Verse 2: So to all of you writers who try to justify, Your chubby and plump, ripe jolly old lie, Known as Santa Clause, because he’s a good guy, He’s the spirit of giving, who could deny? Giving gifts to children, and all for free, But that the lack of cost we see, is not reality. So for children who see this to remain happy, Requires a fee from folks like you and me! Chorus 2: I’m flipping the bird at the fourth estate, Whose stories of Santa Clause perpetuate The myth of free gifts for the good, on Christmas day. No Virginia, parents have to pay! Verse 3: So what happens to those of us who object? They make more specials where folks like us get wrecked! Write folks who don’t believe, only to show them wrong. This charade has been going on for far too long! Then of course children learn that we were actually right! They’ve been lied to all their life, and they feel the slight. Sustaining this myth worsens poor parents’ plight. Enough of this crap; I’m here to stand and fight! Chorus 3: I’m flipping the bird at the fourth estate To tell them that I won’t collaborate In helping their costly myth to spread! No, Virginia, thank your parents instead! Verse 4: Parents want children to love them and respect them, too. In order to accomplish this, what should they do? Not tell them things that they will learn aren’t true. They’ll be skeptical of past liars; wouldn’t you?! Luckily there’s something better to try. They can still get children presents but they don’t have to lie. Instead tell them they’re the ones that work and buy. And then busting the myth later won’t make children cry. If parents can’t afford it, that isn’t good. It’s how things may be, but it’s not how they should. Children might be sad, but respect parents they would, If they learned about money, and they really could! Poverty is something we love to despise. But we might solve it if we cease to disguise The truth about money, so enough of those lies! Give children the knowledge so their fortunes may rise. Chorus 4: I’m flipping the bird at the fourth estate. As one man who will not accept his fate, To pay to fuel a myth that makes all parents stressed. No Virginia, knowledge is the gift that’s best.
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(Normally sung by the Filthy Slimy Rat Chorus; anything in quotes is sung by Gruntin) God awful Gruntin Doesn't have a heart or soul “I decapitated Carolers And made their heads a totem pole“ God awful Gruntin Is a piece of shit they say “I'm not the nicest person yes Now go the hell away.” He's disturbed and cold He's fat and old “I'm morally depraved” He lives in a possessed estate Plagued by the decayed Oh God awful Gruntin Keeps guts upon his shelf Some would say that Gruntin may Be Lucifer himself “SHUT UP!” God awful Gruntin Is twisted in the head He makes Christmas tarts From body parts “Which I force feed to vegans.” There must have been a reason That Grunt is this disturbed He shot Saint Nick In his peppermint stick! “He got what he deserved.” Oh God awful Gruntin Is a miserable fat creep If you’re in his sight Then it's nighty night “I’ll kill you in your sleep…” "I’m not kidding."
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Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas to you And you Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like Eskimos Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight They know that Santa's on his way He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if reindeer really know how to fly And so I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you And so I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas Merry Christmas To you
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about

Now with a music video for song 9! (Performed and edited by General Grunt): www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7UFo9_vh_s

Hey there! It's been a while since my last album, huh? I think it's been just over a year or thereabouts. I've been busy doing other things, such as trying to get better at music composition, so I haven't been doing as much in the way of creating music as I'd usually do.

However, I knew I wanted to do another Christmas album, but I wanted to do it with a particular twist - that it would be a collaboration between myself, friends, family, and people I know from the internet. It was inspired by the Destructoid Christmas albums produced back in 2010 and 2011 (here's the link to the second one: jonathanholmesandfriends.bandcamp.com/album/the-2nd-annual-destructoid-christmas-album), and how knowing the people who made these songs feel a bit more special than your average cover. It's hard to describe, but it gave me a certain feeling that I wanted to try and capture in some sense.

To try and do this, I reached out to people I knew from real life, forums, and other places to contribute any kind of songs inspired by the season to create an album. A lot of people have on these places have helped to change my life for better in various ways, and I hope that creating this album will do the same for them, or even for other people who may not know any of us.

To everyone who helped contribute a song, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you enjoy the other songs featured on this album.

To everyone in general, I hope you had a good 2018, I wish you a Merry Christmas/Hannukah/Festivus/whatever you celebrate, and I hope you enjoy listening to this album. Thank you, and have a great day!

-Jim McGrath

Cover art by Doggi.

Special Thanks to:

The lovely folks at Destructoid.com who inspired this album, which includes...

Chad Concelmo
Dale North
Tony Ponce
Jonathan Holmes
Samit Sarkar
Conrad Zimmerman
Jim Sterling
Jesse Cortez
Lindsay Moss
Max Scoville

The Cork Academy of Music
DK Vine
Sonic Stadium
Evageeks
FFShrine Forums
My family and friends

Paulo Manuel Lopes
Nick V
Lighthouse
DF

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For Clare

credits

released December 25, 2018

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Jim McGrath Cork, Ireland

A musician who wants to make the best music he possibly can.

Inspired by:

Shiro Sagisu
Tomoyuki Asakawa
Ronnie Hazlehurst
Victoria Wood
The Divine Comedy
Mike Wyzgowski
Spiralmouth
... more

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